somniare.

sometimes, my head explodes

ex—hale July 28, 2008

Filed under: almost poetic — somniare @ 11:50 pm

I think perhaps… it may be a good idea to breathe.

Never can you hold tightly to your life until you’ve felt the slip…

It looks like you could use a bit of both.

In the fade comes the light and suddenly…

The darkness defines all you were and ever will be.

In your final thoughts, let me weigh down and help expel

illusions of forgiveness and worth

under the guise of condensation (breathe against the glass for me now)

So I may see myself so very tangible as you set me free.

All those years holding me in and losing your mind

e…x…
….h…a…l…e.

Thanks for the sacrifice. I’ll show myself to the door.

No, no. No need to get up. I can manage.

You just sleep.

I’ll close the blinds, you haggard thing.

I’m feeling well today.

 

3:16 AM July 22, 2008

Filed under: in.between — somniare @ 2:30 am

I seem to have forgotten how to sleep tonight. I can’t help but think that my mind is simply rebelling.

The sad discovery… I sleep better with hopelessness. When it’s as dark inside as the night sky, I can slip fluidly into repose. Oil on water under a starless sky.

There is a light sneaking through the blinds. It pulls at my eyelids. It tests my will. My skin warms, the blankets become a burden. I am unaccustomed to the brightness… the heat… radiating despite the sorrow of solitude.

Not even sadness can sing my lullaby tonight.

 

tonight’s pieces July 18, 2008

Filed under: bits and pieces — somniare @ 11:52 pm

If I begged for refrain, would the music slow? Demands… go no further… disregarded as crescendo reaches to milk the last drops from my burning eyes. Sad, melting metaphors… the rising… the falling… rhyme and reason drip from ancient strings. All that I cannot say.

 

ejecta July 15, 2008

Filed under: hell is other people — somniare @ 11:35 pm

A series of excerpts. That is my day. I sit down and reflect by default alone and recall only segments… a day summarized by moments. Today my excerpt is reminiscent of debris.

Rarely does a day go by where any second is more special than the last… essentially all that I encounter becomes a pile of steaming garbage with the occasional glint of light off of a rusting soup can or the overpowering redolence of the nearest discarded infant diaper.

Anyone with true rummaging experience (admit it, you’ve done it), knows that there is the occasional gem to be found amidst the waves of decaying waste. A twenty dollar bill, an invaluable antique only mistaken for trash, a seemingly untouched piece of furniture discarded by an obviously fortunate individual with no need to be reimbursed upon refurnishing their abode. This takes much time and effort to achieve whilst sifting through wreckage and refuse… and one would most certainly walk away exhausted, filthy, and reeking of shame. I have to admit, I am a garbage picker of humanity.

The sad fact is that I often walk away empty handed. After a long day of interactions and social endeavors, I have nothing more than a sigh of defeat. The equivalent of the multilevel disgust I would feel at discovering a litter of dead kittens in a broken down cardboard shoebox.

So much stupidity… so little energy to paint it the cutesy color of naivety. Idiocy has one shade… and it is shit brown. Ah, hell with it, I’ll be generous and offer the second and third options of sewage green or flesh-rot gray. Make a note of that, Crayola.

 

today’s pieces July 2, 2008

Filed under: bits and pieces — somniare @ 11:50 pm

Just a couple things I wrote down through the course of the day…

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slip stubbornly into the night
the volatile discourse between light and horizon
pull the curtains, they don’t need to see this.

face aglow, lovely starlit depravity
keep moving, keep it warm
behind closed doors, hold the sharp edges near.
————————————–

————————————–
Answer the images
their questions flung like tiny paper airplanes in a rain soaked crowd
landing haphazardly tucked between eyelashes,
mistaken for debris from the sky… or dusty tears…
and brushed aside.
—————————————