sometimes, my head explodes

cause and effect pt.1 January 24, 2008

Filed under: philosophical muse — somniare @ 1:35 am

We spend years developing ideals which are often shaped by the people who have affected us over the years. I question whether or not there is evolution in that or if we simply use the existence of other people to help define our underdeveloped senses of self. I wonder if the people who find themselves with their happy endings and minimal strife get to that point because they were born into this world knowing who they were.

This may sound contradictory to my firm belief that if you ever stop learning about yourself, you have reached a dead end. It’s not a contradiction per se as much as an expansion. People are dynamic by nature and being that there are countless experiences out there that can shape a person, it’s near to impossible to remain completely static all throughout your life. The people we meet- and either let in, shut out, or even completely ignore- they are all experiences in their own way. There is a fine line separating what is genuine change and the superficial alterations made simply due to the existence of a certain personality come in contact with.

Where is the line between changing and recovering what was lost along the way? Where is the line between a gaping schism in our foundations and what is nothing more than the slow shifting of plates deep below the surface of being? There is a fault line regardless and the slightest quake makes a difference… perhaps there is no definitive line separating the two results of cause and effect but more a matter of when our inner tuning picks up the signals.

Do we use other people to deceive ourselves into believing that something somewhere is shifting? The sad truth is that we just might not be able to tell the difference between sensing a change and wanting it. Our desperate desire for change, evolution and personal enlightenment drive us to see people as tools. Can an outsider really be a true catalyst… or is that just an illusion?


One Response to “cause and effect pt.1”

  1. Jon Says:

    I suppose every life is a spiral, inward or outward or elseward. At times we pass familiar ground, cycle though moods and tastes and characteristics, albeit perhaps from different angles of experience. I’ve lost things and not regained them. I’ve gained things and lost. I’ve recovered things and let others go and a few things lost and regained more times than I can count. A few years ago I’d have said yes, there’s a line and a way to tell what’s your foundation and what’s your facade. But now I’m not so sure. Maybe I will be again in a few years; at the moment I’m trying to get a handle on signs of bigger cycles. Knowing thyself really is an endless process, isn’t it? Just when I thought I knew me, I changed. Or maybe I was changing all along. Or maybe I changed because I knew me. Observation changes the observed, isn’t that what physics has turned up?

    It’s possible outsiders are catalysts, it’s possible their effect is illusory. I happen to think it doesn’t matter. Interesting as it may be, it doesn’t matter. It’s what we do with whatever they say that counts. Maybe I read that Einstein said to forget higher thought and just bone some hos. Bullshit, Einstein, no way. Maybe then some asshole on the street gives me the finger and says to watch where I’m going. You know what, he’s right, I really should be more mindful of my surroundings. Doesn’t matter who said it or why. If it passes the test in my heart, I’ll take it. If I want a change so bad I trick myself into sensing it, odds are I’ll soon trick myself into being different in just that way. What is it Twain said? Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll be the way you act. Close enough. It passes the test. Twain: 1, Einstein: 0.

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