sometimes, my head explodes

these tenuous bonds November 5, 2007

Filed under: hell is other people — somniare @ 6:40 pm

How much respect and trust can you hold in a friendship that is easily severed? How important could it have been for one side to be able to completely detach from another? I have the answers to these questions and more than anything else, it simply saddens me further regarding issues of who I choose to incorporate into my life.

Those who have been too scared to speak up and tell me how they feel. Proposition me if you will, I will be nothing short of honest. Those circumstances sometimes strengthen but often sever the tenuous connection that is friendship. The ties that bind friends are often weak in so many more areas than people realize. There may be one strong tether keeping two people bound together… but these ropes are made of a million tiny strands, each being vital to the bigger picture. You hack away enough of those, you will eventually drift apart. It’s a pathetic analogy but it is accurate.

Recent events in my life have led me to question the existence of permanence regarding relationships. I married knowing full well that I was taking vows to bind myself to someone until death separated us. I also knew that it was very likely that I would stay in those circumstances only from a moral standpoint and a desire to stay off my mother’s path and not because I ever had the desire to be truly joined in steadfast union based on honest affinity.

The one nexus I stand by without any wavering or doubts is that my bond with my children will never be severed from me. Not under any circumstances could I detach my heart from them. In terms of relationships though and baser desires, I have to believe that there will come a time where ‘unconditional’ is not just an overused sentiment… it will be a reality. I have yet to encounter that in any part of my corporeal existence. As of this time, that word is but a castle in the sky. An ethereal state formed of gossamer threads that slip from my grasp in their delicacy. Elusive is this theory but I suppose acknowledgment and a desire for the experience is the best one can do.


One Response to “these tenuous bonds”

  1. ArtilsAlten Says:

    :) reflects the couple’s low-key approach to their royal connections.

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